It’s almost mid-April though the rain is not heavy yet. I hope you’re enjoying every day in the month!
As discussed in my in my last post, I will be sharing the lessons I’ve learned in the last twenty years of life as it’s my birthday month. So guys, this is the first lesson and it is on relationships.
Every person keeps in mind their first love [we all have our first love whether it lasted for 5 years or 5 months, we would never forget them]. There is just this feeling that comes with falling in love for the first time. It’s always fun because some of us started dating pretty early due to some reasons either peer pressure or just to explore the world of love.
Whilst growing up, I was mummy’s girl [I still am lol]. Whenever I go out outside of school or church, I was timed every single time. Thus you might wonder how I was able to get someone to ask me out. Well, it happened that there was a yearly retreat at my church’s headquarters and O [let’s call him O] was in attendance too. My duty at the retreat was to write every minute of the meeting and he was the vocalist for the first day and I had to get his name. That was how we met!
Okay, I digressed. Let’s get down to the main point. Here are the lessons I learned from my first relationship.
You can’t love someone else without loving yourself first
It is of great importance that you love yourself first before you love someone else. There’s this Latin saying that ‘you can’t give what you don’t have’. Yes! It is true. You cannot give love when you don’t even love yourself. It is salient that you love yourself, know what you need from yourself before requesting from your partner. Be your best friend first before you become someone else’s. Really, how can you convince someone that you love them if you don’t love yourself first?
You are stronger than you think
As expected, the end of the relationship wasn’t that interesting. There were so many words left unspoken, tears left unshed, feelings left undecided. And it was time to finally let go! It was a hard decision to make. I learned not how to let go but instead, I just did it. Though it felt like the earth was crumbling and there won’t be a chance for love again, but surprisingly there was the strength to do that. No doubt we both had our flaws and to some extent right for each other I think, but the need to break free were just there.
Trust and respect matters a lot
It goes a long way in building one’s trust either with friends or lovers. The first relationship showed how important trust and respect is. Trusting them despite their flaws and respect any decision they make. Without trusting the other partner the relationship is bound to fail and also without giving them their due respect won’t make the relationship last long. Though it taught me that you can’t trust anyone because even your best friend might betray you! Nevertheless, it is still important.
Relationship is hard work
Anywhere I have the opportunity to talk about relationships, I always say this ‘relationship is hard work’. My first relationship started with long distance, we might not see each other for weeks, months; let’s say once or twice a year. Did I hear you scream what? Yes, that’s right. We seldom saw other each. For me, that wasn’t a problem because that helps me not to get tired easily. It might seem all rosy at the beginning but really it needs total effort from both sides to make it work.
If there is one thing I would never forget from the first relationship, it is forgiveness. Initially it was difficult but in the end, one just had to let go. You can’t keep bearing dirty thoughts in your heart because you won’t progress.
You won’t be selfish
Transitioning from having my space and time to sharing it with someone wasn’t that easy. Yet, I was able to learn that you can’t be selfish in your relationship. Though I wasn’t good with giving gifts then but I think I’ve improved over the years. It taught me to be selfless and also getting along with others and also the first time to learn that there’s a need to compromise a bit but not going less than is required.
Despite all these, there is no hard feeling yet as humans are meant to forget things. But I will never forget what I learned from that first relationship and I am forever grateful for that.
I would like to hear from you if you’ve been able to learn anything from this post. My next post would be on the lesson I had learned in school and I hope you would like that. Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog to get new posts.
Till then, keeping loving yourself and be good!