Can you date your best friend? Like someone you’ve been friends with for months, years? I ask some friends this question and I got the following answers;
‘Ewwww, that’s not possible.’
‘Well, maybe we can give it a try.’
‘Of course I can, that will make the relationship all nice.’
Agape, I’m like are you going to date your enemy?
Scores of people have different opinions about transitioning from being best friends to lovers. For some reasons that they think might jeopardize the moments they’ve shared together as friends or complicate issues for each other when they actually become lovers. No doubt, it might be daunting for the reason that you don’t want to ruin the connection you already have and because you don’t want to lose their friendship if eventually the relationship doesn’t work out. But if truth be told, the finest and easiest relationships truly develop from friendship.
To be honest, I don’t think I can get into relationship with someone I’ve not been friends with for a while. If not all, at least I should have seen the good sides and the worst. This will make it all interesting! Really, we should have known each other for a while before we can think of stepping it up as lovers. I made this mistake once which was the first guy I ever dated. We met in a church convention and within the few days of staying together in camp, we started dating. No much information about each other, no familiarity. Gullible me!
Maybe it could have eventually worked out because in due time we became familiar with each other. But too many differences wouldn’t have allowed it. Either ways, I learnt my lessons and I’m currently in a relationship with someone we’ve been friends with for months before we finally stepped it up *winks*. However, this doesn’t depend on how many months we’ve being together as friends but how well we understand, support ourselves and how we show that we really care for each other.
Love is friendship that has caught fire.
– Ann Landers
Sincerely, friendship rocks! If you’ve been with friends with someone and they stood your arse, talked you out of a worst situation, cheered you when you’re in your down mood, said some nasty things right before you and defended you when you weren’t there. Draw you back when going off track and constructively criticize you when you’re making a huge mistake. Then that should be the more reason you step up the game and be something more.
However, some people prefer to build the relationship first before friendship to avoid being friend zoned especially for the guys [I will talk about this in another post]. Relationship could be some hard work but it could be easier if you guys have been friends and still be friends till death do you part. Even if the relationship is not working at first, friendship will make you remain friends and work out the differences.
Being friends saves you more hurt because they know your past relationship(s) and they won’t want to hurt you since they know what you’ve been through in your previous relationships. Friendship before relationship makes both parties understand some basics about one another and it makes them build a solid foundation for their relationship. The problem with dating a new guy is that he doesn’t know you in and out, the few things he might probably know about you is the good image you’ve presented. For me, the stress of going through the introductory stage is annoying. Not that you can’t be friends with new people o, just that it will take some time to be free with them; unlike someone you already know.
Know that you’re friends already and will still be friends. They won’t want to hurt you because friends don’t hurt friends, right? Yes! Because you understand each other, you can deal with each other’s flaws and weaknesses. You know what gets them angry or turn them off, what they define as fun activities. Perhaps you’re the kind of person who likes hang out in a cool restaurant in town, go to the beach, parties or he prefers to stay on the couch talking and staring at your beautiful eyes all day. All for the sake of fun!
Despite all of this, you might need to reintroduce yourselves as lovers to your friends and family who used to know you guys as friends. They should know that the status as change, so as to intensify the connection you’ve built and make the friendship status disappear real quickly. Well, this may possibly be excused if you guys are in an exclusive relationship.
Take my thoughts: Be friends first. Take your time to know each other, your flaws, strengths, weaknesses, and sense of humor. With a friendship built on trust and understanding, everything will be super perfect.
Would you still date your best friend? I would love to hear from you in the comment section!
PS: I would be starting a new section on the blog on Tuesday and it will be tagged #InspirationTuesday. Look out for more details on this.