An Open Letter to my 15-year Old Teenage Self

Most people might want to be given another opportunity to be at a certain age of their life again. But for me, a part of me would say yes and a huge part would say NO. And this is for so many reasons.

If I have the chance of being 15 again, I would wish I had known and did some things better. But hey, it’s alright I didn’t know and I can’t kill myself over it because it’s in the past, yeah? Yes. So here are the things I would have told my 15 year-old self;

Dear 15-year-old self,

You are a beauty to behold, smart, charming, the mother’s pride, father’s strength, family’s first love. 

Live your life freely and openly without having to focus on what opinion people have about you. You see, the world out there is full of critics and in the midst of this, you have to stand up for yourself. It’s not going to be all rosy; you might give up your childhood dreams to pursue something else. You might change career path a thousand times before you find the one that would give you happiness.

Younger self, you will make mistakes and it’s okay. Don’t beat up yourself if you fail a couple of times, all you need do is keep trying till you finally get it right. You will make mistakes in career choices, relationships and all, but don’t be scared to take risks. Live your freely and openly without bearing grudges or negative thoughts with anyone and you will be fine.

Listen to your inner voice; some call it the gut feeling. Listen to it. This voice is never wrong and it won’t lead you astray. Just listen to it. So many times, you would want to satisfy yourself by going against it. I hope the consequences won’t be too grave for you to bear.

Live your life to the fullest, make use of every potential that has been deposited in you. You should have plans/goals you are working with but don’t get hooked up with the drama of having 5 or 10 years plan; it goes beyond writing it down. Make sure you have it inscribed in your heart – not only on the paper that could be torn or burnt at any time. You see, they say this world is cruel but I don’t want you to see it that way. See it has a beautiful place where you can be whatever you want to be without anything holding you back except YOU.

Be educated. In whatever you do, make sure you are well-educated. Let me tell you this, you might not get into school at the time you really want to or your institution of choice. You might have to work to garner some experiences before getting into school. All of these would broaden your knowledge when you finally make it into the four walls of the institution. Don’t just make good grades but also enjoy every moment you spend in school. I guess you’ve heard about the proverbial Jack. Worry less if your classmates think you’re weird because you didn’t conform to their attitude.

Know that there would be peer pressure in school, this will help you define who you really are in the long run because if your friends don’t test your limit you won’t be able to define your life goals. Also, make friends but choose your REAL friends. Treat everyone nicely with respect because you don’t know how you might need each other in the future.

Work smart and don’t be lazy because there is no food for a lazy man!  If you like a 9 to 5 job, it’s all yours and if you want to have a business of your own that affords all the luxury you want, it’s all good too. However, don’t shut out your family and friends in the process. Spend quality time with them – it means a lot. Remember, they would always be there when you don’t have the strength to work anymore. 

Love. Don’t think your first love would be your first and the last because it is not always a true one. So many guys would come your way as you grow. Don’t start matching your surnames together when they haven’t even asked you out yet. You might get your heart broken or break someone’s heart once or twice. Don’t worry, that’s not the end of the world, you’d do just fine. Life is full breakups and lost love; this will teach you to deal with the ups and downs of life.

As you grow, the society we live in will compel you to get married at a particular age. Please, I beg of you, do not feel compelled to! If you are not ready to be a loving mother to your children, amazing friend to your husband and a wonderful “sister-in-love”, do not rush into marriage. Don’t hurry to bag the certificate of a MRS. But when the time is right, pray to make the right choice – a man that would cherish, love and respect you {You have to be the same for him too}. It’s a lifelong journey, you know. Before any man tries to cajole you with sweet words, tell those words to yourself first. Let me tell you, there are no new lines, there are only new people with old lines.

Just before you get into any relationship, know that you come first before anyone else – love yourself before getting into any relationship. When you do love yourself, then you can love the other person more. Also, know that happiness comes from within. No matter how much you feign happiness in a relationship and you are not happy with yourself, it will only make you miserable. So, your happiness comes first then every other thing follows.

FriendshipsYou will make a lot of friends while growing up but when the time comes, you will know when to separate from those that are not helping you expand your horizons. As you grow, some friends will stay while some will leave or stay mute because of distance. Often times, they will always show up when you need them then you can start from where you stopped. With good friends, you will learn to become stronger than you thought, the ability to stand up and brush yourself to move forward when things are difficult. You will also learn the true meaning of love with friends.

Be the light in the midst of darkness. You don’t have to do what everyone is doing, the result won’t be any different. Dare to stand out for good anywhere you find yourself. Speak out when things hurt you or don’t seem right.  It’s going to be difficult but tell yourself you can do it.

 I hope you learn from all the mistakes of the past and forge for the future that is bright.

Much love,

From your older self. 




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